I’ll take my meds with a side of effects, please…

I am tired of being tired. Exhausted. Drained. Pick and adjective pertaining to lack of sleep and that is where I am. I just want to sleep. But when I sleep, it is never enough or good enough. While I don’t get a full 8 hours of sleep, I am not getting any more or less than I was before the medication.

So, maybe I need to think about that some more…other changes recently: the gym. Getting up an hour earlier and not adjusting bedtime. But isn’t the gym supposed to energize you? It does for me…for about an hour then I am ready to crash. This morning I took my Abilify after the gym. Maybe tonight I will start taking it before bed.

All I know is I am so ready to sleep. Being this tired destroys all motivation and is causing depression-like symptoms. I don’t want to sit in the house but I don’t have the energy to do ANYTHING. My girlfriend said I looked miserable. I told her I wasn’t unhappy, just bored with no motivation. And if I try to take a nap, I feel guilty because there are other things I could be doing.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist this Wednesday and I plan on talking to her about this. It is almost crippling exhaustion and I have read that the Abilify can cause this. I know it depends on the person and the dosage, though. I am hoping it IS the Abilify and not depression. Don’t want to start taking another medication if I can avoid it. Just a rabbit hole I would rather not go down.

Overall, though, it was a good weekend. Got some cleaning done and saw a movie with my daughter. Just need some more energy and I’ll be good!

 

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