Post-Relationship Struggles

The ups and downs continue and it is getting harder and harder to try and deal with the realities of the situation. Motivation to move forward is almost gone. I need to sell my house but I can’t get myself to do all the things that come with it. My realtor went on vacation and said they would contact me after the 4th of July. They haven’t but I can’t seem to find it in me to pick up the phone and call them.

I am so overwhelmed and lonely. I feel guilty if I talk to other women, even as friends. I feel like that just destroys any chance I have of getting back with someone who obviously does not want any part of me that way.

Why am I clinging to someone that doesn’t love me?

Ok…that is more rhetorical than anything because I know why. I want my comfortable, content life back. I feel like I am losing everything I wanted and don’t know what my new “wants” are yet. I don’t know where I want to live and thinking about it stresses me out.

The thought of her seeing someone else turns my stomach. I don’t think she wants a relationship and I am pretty sure she just wants super casual. But I don’t like that idea at all.

The fact is…IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. She needs to live her life and I need to live mine. Without her. Without a care about her life.

Why is this so hard? Why am struggling so much? I just want peace. I want a good night’s sleep. I want to be happy with where I am. Not having my skin crawl because I am so stressed out about things that should not affect me.

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